http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2008/03/17/luck-is-no-accident-10-ways-to-get-more-out-of-work-and-life/
Some people are luckier than others.
How many of you believe this? Why do you believe it? Are you one of the lucky ones? Or does luck seem to pass you by? And just what is luck, anyhow?
According to John D. Krumboltz and Al S. Levin, there’s no such thing as luck. In fact, they shirk the use of the word in their book Luck Is No Accident: Making the Most of Happenstance in Your Life and Career, opting instead to use “happenstance”, a term with less baggage. Krumboltz and Levin argue that happenstance isn’t something that randomly effects us — it’s something that we create out of the chance situations and encounters that run through our lives:
Have you ever noticed that unplanned events — chance occurrences — more often determine your life and career choices than all the careful planning you do? A chance meeting, a broken appointment, a spontaneous vacation trip, a “fill-in” job, a newly discovered hobby — these are the kinds of experiences — happenstances — that lead to unexpected life directions and career choices.
The key is to recognize these opportunities and to act on them. Here are some techniques the authors suggest we can use to turn happenstance to our advantage.
- Make the most of unplanned events. We are constantly bombarded by the unexpected. Most of the time, we dodge unplanned events in order to return to our normal lives. We fear the spontaneous. But if you can relax, open your mind, and roll with the unplanned, new opportunities will unfold.
- Share your interests and experiences with people you meet. You don’t need to force your story on others. But learn to strike up conversations with people you meet. Ask them about their lives. They’ll ask you about yours. In Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferrazzi notes this is a great way to form connections you might otherwise miss. In this way, you may sometimes turn a random encounter into a possible “lucky break”. (Occasionally you will be a source of luck for the people you meet, just as they will sometimes be a source of luck for you.)
- Always keep your options open. Goals are good. But single-minded devotion to a goal can often blind a person to other opportunities. And it’s a mistake to cling to one path out of a sense of obligation. If you enter law school and discover you hate it, quit. Don’t endure years of misery because you feel it’s expected of you. “Refuse to serve a life sentence of misery,” the authors write. You have more options than you think, but you may need to open your eyes to see them.
- Wake up — before your dreams come true. When I was a boy, I loved computers. Computer programmers, like those in WarGames and Real Genius, were my heroes. But when I finally became a programmer myself, it wasn’t anything like I had imagined it. It was drudgery. I gave up my dream and moved on to something else. Pursue goals, but be sure to reassess your progress and your priorities at regular intervals to prevent yourself from becoming trapped in a reality that is nothing like your dreams.
- Try it — even without knowing the outcome. Two of the best ways to “be lucky” are to be willing to take calculated risks and to embrace unexpected opportunities. Try new things. Go new places. Don’t just do the things for which you know the eventual outcome. I’ve learned that the best way for me to grow as a person is to do something completely outside my comfort zone. Good things happen when I do.
- Maintain a strong social network. “Building and maintaining good relationships with other people is an important component for job success,” the authors write. Other people can provide support in times of trouble, they can act as resources when you need information, and they can offer valuable connections to other social networks. Again, Keith Ferrazzi covers many of these concepts in Never Eat Alone, a book that explores the value of strong social networks. (And remember: it’s just as important for you to help others as it is for you to draw upon their help.)
- Go ahead and make mistakes. Do not be afraid to fail. It’s trite, but it’s true: those who never try, never fail. And those who never fail, never learn. “First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen?” Dale Carnegie once advised. “Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.” If you can learn to react to mistakes constructively, you can actually improve your situation and get on with life.
- Take action to create your own luck. The authors offer a number of useful tips for creating your own luck:
- Act now. Don’t procrastinate. Begin pursuing your goals today.
- Avoid the “sunk cost fallacy”. Just because you’ve spent time and money on something doesn’t mean you can or should continue doing so.
- Take advantage of timely opportunities. Don’t be afraid to say “yes” when a favorable circumstance arises.
- Always do your best work, even when you think the task is unimportant.
- Ask for what you want. If you do not ask, you cannot receive.
- Be persistent. Don’t give up. Work hard.
- Become a lifelong learner. In 50 Success Classics, Tom Butler-Bowdon notes that most successful men and women have made a habit of reading, and of constant self-improvement.
Follow these seven guidelines, and your “luck” is bound to improve.
- Enjoy yourself — the good life is a balanced life. Here’s advice I sometimes forget. A person who leads a balanced life is happier, more relaxed, more open to new experiences. If you maintain good relationships, explore satisfying hobbies, prioritize physical fitness, go out of your way to help others, and continue to pursue personal growth, you will become a well-rounded person, just the sort that “luck” favors.
- Overcome self-sabotage. Finally, in order to make the most of “luck” and happenstance, you must learn to face down your greatest enemy: your self. Each of us is capable of thwarting good fortune through negative self-talk. We beat ourselves up over our pasts. We tell ourselves that we “can’t” do something before we even try.
Dale Carnegie once said, “Happiness doesn’t depend on ay external conditions — it is governed by your mental attitude.” Some people might dismiss this as bunk, but research bears it out. Don’t worry about circumstances beyond your control. Learn to control the things you can, including your reaction to the world around you. How you respond to an unfortunate event is often more important than the event itself. Krumboltz and Levin write:
You have control over your own actions and how you think about the events that impact your life. None us can control the outcomes, but your actions can increase the probability that desired outcomes will occur. There are no guarantees in life. The only guarantee is that doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Inaction is the surest path to failure. You cannot succeed if you never try. My father used to tell me this, but I never took his advice to heart. I became an expert at doing nothing, at never daring to pursue my dreams. Over the past two years, I’ve begun to overcome this fear, have begun to act. I’ve begun to make my own luck.
Luck Is No Accident is a short book. Nothing in it is groundbreaking or revolutionary. Yet its common-sense wisdom is a powerful motivator. Whenever I read this book — I’ve read it three times in the past year — I cannot help but come away inspired, ready to make more of my situation, and to try new things. Is it worth owning? Perhaps not. But if you’re the sort of person who wonders why good things only happen to other people, I certainly encourage you to borrow a copy from your local library.
Photo by cimarroncat. This review first appeared in slightly different format at Zen Habits.
This article is about Basics, Books, Self-Improvement, The Best of Get Rich Slowly Monday, 17th March 2008 (by J.D. Roth)
这篇文章相关基础知识、书、个人成长、“缓慢变富”最佳博文
有些人就是比另一些人幸运。
有多少人信这个？你为什么信呢？你是幸运儿之一吗？或者幸运是否曾跟你擦肩而过呢？不管怎样，到底什么才算幸运呢？
对于约翰克鲁姆博兹和阿尔莱文来说，世上并无幸运这回事。事实上，他们在“幸运并非偶然，充分利用好生活和工作中的偶然事件”一书中竭力避免“幸运”这个词，而是用了“充分利用”。克鲁姆博兹和莱文认为：偶然事件并不是那种无意间发生在我们身上的事情—而是我们从某些生活情境之后创造并且遭遇到的。
你是否曾注意过没有计划的活动—偶发事件—常常更能影响你的生活和职业选择，比你自己精心策划的更管用呢？一次突发会议，一次搞砸的约会，还有一次心血来潮的旅行，一个被安排的工作，一个新发现的嗜好—这些都是这种体验—偶然事件—会将你指向不确定的生活方向，还有职业选择。
关键是能意识到这些机会，并根据其走势采取行动。以下是作者的一些建议，我们可以用它来将偶发事件转变成对我们有益的事件。
第一，充分利用未经计划的活动。我们都会不断受到未知事件的侵扰。很多时候，我们会躲开这些没有计划的活动，为的就是要回到我们原本正常的生活。我们害怕自发的行动。但如果你能放松，敞开心胸，随着这个没有计划的活动向前走，新的机会就会向你展开。
第二，和遇到的人分享自己的兴趣和经历。你不需要把自己的故事强加于人。但是你可以学会向你遇到的那个人发起话题。问问他们的生活状况。他们也会问你。在“永远不要一个人吃饭”这本书里，凯斯弗拉兹就说，这是一种和你可能错过的事物相连接的一种很棒的方式。和遇到的人交谈，你可能会让这种偶遇变成一种幸运冲击波。（偶尔你也会成为你遇到的那个人的福星，就像他们有时也会成为你的福星一样。）
第三，永远让自己多一些选择。目标当然是不错，但对单一目标的执着常常会让人看不到其他的机会。因为有一种责任感而抓住一条道儿不放是一种错误。假如你进了一所律师学校，又发现自己讨厌律师的话，请你放弃。不要因为你觉得这是你该做的事就忍受多年的痛苦。“拒绝过痛苦的生活，”作者写道。你有很多自己想不到的选择，不过你可能需要张开眼睛看到他们才行。
第四，醒醒吧—在你梦想成真之前。小的时候，我喜欢玩电脑。电脑游戏，像战争游戏，真英雄这样的游戏是我的最爱。可是当我自己做了程序员，这些游戏就不像我想象得那样了。写游戏是个苦差事，我放弃了这个梦想，开始做起其他工作。你可以追求目标，但是你要确信自己能不断地对自己的优势和成绩进行再评估，这样你就不会陷入一种自认为美好的梦想之中，而实际却并非如此的境地了。
第五，尝试去做—尽管你不太清楚会有什么结果。想让自己福星高照的两种最好的方式是让自己去冒一些适当地险，并且尝试不可预知的机会。试试新事物。去你不熟悉的地方走一走。不要总是做一些你知道结果的事情。我知道，要让我成长的最好方式就是去做一些自己完全不敢去做的事。做的时候好运就会降临到你头上。
第六，保持强有力的社会关系网络。“建立并且保持和别人的良好关系是工作成功的重要组成部分，”作者写道。其他人会在你遇到麻烦的时候提供些帮助；当你需要信息的时候，他们也会成为你的资源；他们还会提供和其他社会网络的有价值的网络。凯斯弗拉兹再次在她的那本“永远不要一个人吃饭”一书里提到了这些观念，这本书探讨了关系网络的价值。（记住了：你帮助别人和别人帮助你一样重要。）
第七，大胆做事，犯犯错误吧。不要害怕失败。这话有点老套，不过确实如此：那些从不尝试的人永远也不会失败。从不失败的人永远也学不到东西。“首先问问自己：最坏能怎样？”德拉卡内基有一次这么建议。“然后试着接受它，接着在最坏的情况下进行改善。”如果你积极地对错误做出反应，你就会改善状况，会到自己的生活。
第八，采取行动，创造你自己的福星。作者举了几个有用的建议：
a, 现在就行动，不要拖延时间。今天就开始追求目标。
b,避免“沉入成本谬论”。就因为你在某件事情上花了时间金钱，你就可以或者应该一直做下去吗？不一定。
c,利用好适时的机会。当某个不错的情况出现时，别怕说“好”。
d,永远做最好的自己，即使是在你认为这个任务不重要的情况下。
e, 问别人要你想要的东西。如果你不问，你就得不到。
f, 坚持，别放弃，努力工作。
g, 终身学习。在五十个经典成功故事中，汤姆巴特勒伯顿强调说：世界上最成功的男性和女性都有阅读的习惯，以及不断自我进步的能力。
通过以上八个方法，你的福星一定会出现的。
第九，过得开心—好生活就是平衡好的生活。这个建议我有时会忘记。过平衡生活的人会更幸福，更放松，对新经验也更开放。如果你保持好的人际关系，发展良好的兴趣爱好，改善健康状况，做出额外努力帮助别人，并且持续追求个人成长，你就会成为一个丰满圆润的人，这正是福星会光顾你的那种类型。
第十，克服自我否定。最后，为了充分利用好“福星”和偶发事件，你必须学会勇敢的挫败你最大的敌人：你自己。我们每个人都能用消极的自我对话阻碍好运降临在我们头上。我们用自己的过去打败自己。还没尝试之前，我们就对自己说：这个我做不了。
戴拉卡内基曾经说过，“幸福感并不依赖外部条件—它是由你的心理态度决定的。”有些人可能把这当作一句废话不予理睬，但是研究已经证明了这是对的。不要担心环境不受自己控制。学会把握自己能把握的东西，包括对周遭世界作出回应。你对一件不幸的事件的回应常常比这个事件本身更重要。克鲁姆博兹和莱文写道：
你可以把我自己的行动，以及你对冲击你生活的时间的看法。没有人可以控制结果，不过你的行动会增加你要的那个结果的可能性。生活中没有什么保障。唯一能得到保障的是：什么都不做，那儿也去不了。
不作为肯定会遭遇失败。如果你不去尝试你就不可能成功。我父亲过去曾告诉我这个道理，但我从来没把他的建议放在心上。我很擅长什么都不干，也不敢去追逐自己的梦想。过去两年里，我开始战胜这种恐惧了，我开始行动了，同时也开始走运了。
幸运绝非偶然是一本小书。里面的内容都不是惊天动地泣鬼神的高明理论。但是这简单的智慧确实一种有力的发动机。每次我读到这本书的时候—去年我读了三遍—我禁不住受到了感染，我感觉自己准备着去充分利用好自己的环境，尝试新事物。这本书是不是非得买下来呢？也不一定。不过，如果你是那种总觉得福星高照别人的人的话，我一定会强力推荐给你，去当地图书馆借一本来看看。
